Phases in Marriage

Hey, there! Are you one of those who think that there’s no happiness in marriage? Do you have phobia for marriage due to the stories you’ve heard and the things you’ve seen? Probably, you feel that divorce rate is on the increase and you wouldn’t want to join in. Are you married, but on the verge of quitting that marriage? Have you lost interest in your spouse?

I’d love to let you know that you’re going through a phase in marriage. Actually, there are about three phases in Marriage, and a couple’s ability to survive the second stage leads to a happy and lasting marriage.

We must have observed that after a few months or few years in marriage, it is very common for a couple to start loosing interest in each other. The marriage graph takes an unexpected downfall. A drastic one. You begin to notice your spouse’s flaws, unpleasant mannerisms, inabilities and all. Arguments and disagreements compound and they sometimes end in near fights. You realize the explosive sexual passion of the honeymoon is gone and you’re beginning to be less and less sexually attracted to your spouse. You begin to wonder if you made the right decision marrying your spouse. You begin to question if (s)he is the right person for you. A thick cloud of confusion envelopes your mind. You begin to wonder if your spouse feels the same way you do. You honestly love your spouse, but you dislike him/her at the same time.

Fear not, you’re not alone! And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your marriage. This is a normal, but temporary phase that almost every marriage goes through. Don’t dismiss the temporary feelings, but don’t make permanent decisions based on them. The unsustainable euphoric feelings of falling in love is gradually fading away. A new and permanent phase of growing in love is beginning. From here henceforth, feelings take the passenger seat and love for your spouse is driven by decisions, not by feelings.

Whatever happens during this phase, do not quit or give up. Continue to choose to love your spouse and continue to choose to stay. Couples who survive this second phase of marriage often discover that the next phase of their marriage is more fulfilling and happier than the first one and divorce is not even an option.

PS: You could choose to quit in the case of domestic violence or any form of extreme abuse. Divorce is an option in such a case.

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